just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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