Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
