Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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