i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
