The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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