My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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