so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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