If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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