Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
