I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
