just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
