i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Text me some of your sweat
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
