you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
