question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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