I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize