So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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