Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize