HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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