You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
