her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
