He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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