Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
