I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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