I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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