i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
