Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
