I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
