I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
