3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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