Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize