I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
