Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
