I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he laminated a picture of his dick.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
