She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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