I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
