he puts the penis in happiness.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
