Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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