It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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