He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
