the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
There's always time for handjobs
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
