I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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