At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
