Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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