Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
