We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I have aggressive nipples.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
