4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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