Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
