remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
