All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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