Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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