Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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