Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize