Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
