If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
