at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
