dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize