OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The struggles of a small town man whore
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
