I heard we made out
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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