Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
