my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Are my feet made of real feet?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
